Hi To All Who May Stumble Upon My Blog!
This is my first update since April last year! :O - That's a bit mad! I should really keep up with updating this more often but life runs away with me and before I know it then I am a year since my last login!
So, my life is pretty much as it was except for 1 added extra. We now have an addition to the family in the form of my adorable son, O. He is one amazing baby boy. He was born in September last year and amazes me everyday with how he is developing. E is now 4 and has settled into nursery quite well. He has some lovely little friends and he is learning really well. Myself and S are good too, although there has been some tension of late due to his new job which he has been doing since January - its not ideal hours, he is away a lot more from us and that causes arguments and anger....(mainly from S) - He can be a little sharp and have little patience with E at times.....not always, just when he is stressed, tired, hungry or niggly for one of many reasons. (it literally is like having another child)
We get on when he is less stressed but I don't always agree with his discipline techniques. I disagree with him (sometimes in front of E, which I shouldn't do) but I cant help it.
I could be here all rambling on about my domestic issues - but on the bright side - My children are amazing, my photography work picked up ALOT last year. I now do a lot more shoots from home so that allows for a lot more bookings and flexibility.
I am still in my main job at Council, but only work 3 days. So that's not so bad!
I will update more on another post. Its rather late and I have a ton of editing to get through. I just wanted to say hi! :D
Friday 8 May 2015
Saturday 26 April 2014
Where there once was sisterly love...
When I was 11, my mom announced she was pregnant. I already had two younger brothers so I eager for a sister so I was more than happy when M was born. I loved everything about her and I promised myself that I would always look after her.
As years went by, I kept my promise. I helped watch over her and guided her. Gave her advice about school, cuddled her when she fell and hugged her tightly, just because I could. It felt like she grew up in a blink of an eye. One minute she was my very cute younger sister who followed me around, the next minute she was a teenager concerned about her looks and boys. I watched as she got ready to go out. Carefully applying her make-up, dressing in going out clothes and straightening her long blonde locks. I loved watching her and in a way, I learnt about make up techniques etc myself.....even if I was in my late twenties.... :)
Her school friends were replaced by a boyfriend and I felt instantly on edge. My little sister was getting older, she didn't need me.....she relied on her boyfriend for care and support. I felt like I was pushed aside. I guess I didn't help matters by having a go at her about her decisions or choices; ones which I hated her making. I wasn't and am still not a big fan of her partners. He is selfish and he doesn't think about anyone but himself. He's not good for her.......
When she was 17, she moved out and got a place with L. Within 12 months or so, she was pregnant with her first child. To say I was disappointed was an understatement, I felt angry and upset that she was throwing her life away. But alas, it was not my life. She gave birth to C and a few years later M.
I love my nieces, I do. And I love my sister, but I feel so resentful towards her all of the time. I never feel like I appreciated. Where there was once respect and support from either or us, there is no sly digs and cold words. We try to cling on to what we was. We call each other names and act as we used to, but its not the same. I feel like I'm not needed......and in a way, I'm not. It's hard and I guess it's down to me to deal with these feelings.
I just feel sad when I think of everything i thought a sister would be......just to realize that it's nothing like what I imagined.
As years went by, I kept my promise. I helped watch over her and guided her. Gave her advice about school, cuddled her when she fell and hugged her tightly, just because I could. It felt like she grew up in a blink of an eye. One minute she was my very cute younger sister who followed me around, the next minute she was a teenager concerned about her looks and boys. I watched as she got ready to go out. Carefully applying her make-up, dressing in going out clothes and straightening her long blonde locks. I loved watching her and in a way, I learnt about make up techniques etc myself.....even if I was in my late twenties.... :)
Her school friends were replaced by a boyfriend and I felt instantly on edge. My little sister was getting older, she didn't need me.....she relied on her boyfriend for care and support. I felt like I was pushed aside. I guess I didn't help matters by having a go at her about her decisions or choices; ones which I hated her making. I wasn't and am still not a big fan of her partners. He is selfish and he doesn't think about anyone but himself. He's not good for her.......
When she was 17, she moved out and got a place with L. Within 12 months or so, she was pregnant with her first child. To say I was disappointed was an understatement, I felt angry and upset that she was throwing her life away. But alas, it was not my life. She gave birth to C and a few years later M.
I love my nieces, I do. And I love my sister, but I feel so resentful towards her all of the time. I never feel like I appreciated. Where there was once respect and support from either or us, there is no sly digs and cold words. We try to cling on to what we was. We call each other names and act as we used to, but its not the same. I feel like I'm not needed......and in a way, I'm not. It's hard and I guess it's down to me to deal with these feelings.
I just feel sad when I think of everything i thought a sister would be......just to realize that it's nothing like what I imagined.
Friday 25 April 2014
Update 2014
Hi Fellow Bloggers!
It's been a while again since I updated so here I am.
So, my reduced hours have been going fantastically. It's been amazing in fact. I start work at 8:30am and finish at 1:30pm which leaves plenty of afternoon time for me and Ethan to spend time together. I've loved every second, but unfortunately I only have a month left until this current voluntary reduced time ends. You see if you have vrt for longer than 12 months then it has to remain your permanent hours, but I don't want to have that option taken away from me.
Another bit of news is that I am expecting our second child.....and our last! I am currently 4 months pregnant and have just finally got past the horrible 3+ months of terrible immobilizing morning sickness. It almost killed me......that is just me being dramatic, but still.....it was bad! That in itself will make going back full time a bit of a chore, but it's just for 3 months. I will then be starting my maternity leave, so it shouldn't be too bad. :))
Photography work has obviously been less this year. I couldn't do a lot during my horrible sickness stages and I have limited what I have booked in during the wedding season as I don't want to have to let people down. Although my last job is booked for 30th August (which is less than a month before my due date..... :S)
The drama has died down a little although i do sometimes allow myself to get stressed out about people around me. Friends, non friends, family....they can all play a part in causing me worry, stress and un-needed drama......I tell myself to forget them and just focus on my family, but it doesn't work. I care too much about what people think of me....or don't think of me. I contemplate every single conversation or crossed word! I get paranoid and over-sensitive about everything! I worry that people don't like me, I worry that nobody actually cares. I thrive on kind words and praise!
I'm ranting....again. I will update a bit more regular, I think I need to unload more often :)
It's been a while again since I updated so here I am.
So, my reduced hours have been going fantastically. It's been amazing in fact. I start work at 8:30am and finish at 1:30pm which leaves plenty of afternoon time for me and Ethan to spend time together. I've loved every second, but unfortunately I only have a month left until this current voluntary reduced time ends. You see if you have vrt for longer than 12 months then it has to remain your permanent hours, but I don't want to have that option taken away from me.
Another bit of news is that I am expecting our second child.....and our last! I am currently 4 months pregnant and have just finally got past the horrible 3+ months of terrible immobilizing morning sickness. It almost killed me......that is just me being dramatic, but still.....it was bad! That in itself will make going back full time a bit of a chore, but it's just for 3 months. I will then be starting my maternity leave, so it shouldn't be too bad. :))
Photography work has obviously been less this year. I couldn't do a lot during my horrible sickness stages and I have limited what I have booked in during the wedding season as I don't want to have to let people down. Although my last job is booked for 30th August (which is less than a month before my due date..... :S)
The drama has died down a little although i do sometimes allow myself to get stressed out about people around me. Friends, non friends, family....they can all play a part in causing me worry, stress and un-needed drama......I tell myself to forget them and just focus on my family, but it doesn't work. I care too much about what people think of me....or don't think of me. I contemplate every single conversation or crossed word! I get paranoid and over-sensitive about everything! I worry that people don't like me, I worry that nobody actually cares. I thrive on kind words and praise!
I'm ranting....again. I will update a bit more regular, I think I need to unload more often :)
Saturday 10 August 2013
Hi.....Just an Update!
So, I have been doing my reduced hours for near on 2 months now and there hasn't been a problem with it at all. The hours are perfect....too perfect in fact!
I start at 8:30am and finish at 1:30pm Monday - Wednesdays.....I only work until 12pm on a Thursday and I still get Fridays off. Its great. I have so much free time on the PM that I don't always know what to do with it.
The best about it? - I actually get paid quite well for the reduced hours. I get roughly £850 for doing 18.5 hours. Its nearly a MINIMUM wage! - Its ace! Ha.
I cannot see me wanting to EVER take my hours up to full time. I have more time for E, more time for photography work and more time for ME!
Its amazing....it really is. I am not sure everyone in the office appreciates the hours I work....but screw them!
Work is okay generally - I am milling through my work quite well....although Monday's are my busiest, because of catching up due to a long weekend.....but I manage to get all the stuff completed that needs to be done.
I am feeling a little sad at the moment because two of the people who I get on with the most at work are putting in for early retirement. These are the people I gel with the most and who I talk to the most! :(
I get on with others in the office, but not enough to trust them......there are too many people willing to step over you to get further....too many stress-heads.....and too many people who want to bitch and gossip! - There is one other person who I can gel with......but he sits on the other side of the office. :(
Needless to say, I am now looking at my future with my current employer.....
My big dream.....?
It would be to get more successful with my photography and get more work through that. :)
And as its going, I am getting a LOT of happy customers lately....so hopefully I can be a FULL TIME photographer - rather than appearing like a hobbyist!
I start at 8:30am and finish at 1:30pm Monday - Wednesdays.....I only work until 12pm on a Thursday and I still get Fridays off. Its great. I have so much free time on the PM that I don't always know what to do with it.
The best about it? - I actually get paid quite well for the reduced hours. I get roughly £850 for doing 18.5 hours. Its nearly a MINIMUM wage! - Its ace! Ha.
I cannot see me wanting to EVER take my hours up to full time. I have more time for E, more time for photography work and more time for ME!
Its amazing....it really is. I am not sure everyone in the office appreciates the hours I work....but screw them!
Work is okay generally - I am milling through my work quite well....although Monday's are my busiest, because of catching up due to a long weekend.....but I manage to get all the stuff completed that needs to be done.
I am feeling a little sad at the moment because two of the people who I get on with the most at work are putting in for early retirement. These are the people I gel with the most and who I talk to the most! :(
I get on with others in the office, but not enough to trust them......there are too many people willing to step over you to get further....too many stress-heads.....and too many people who want to bitch and gossip! - There is one other person who I can gel with......but he sits on the other side of the office. :(
Needless to say, I am now looking at my future with my current employer.....
My big dream.....?
It would be to get more successful with my photography and get more work through that. :)
And as its going, I am getting a LOT of happy customers lately....so hopefully I can be a FULL TIME photographer - rather than appearing like a hobbyist!
Monday 27 May 2013
Surveys, Comps, Bingo......All SLOW money making ideas.
So...my new reduced hours begin in a weeks time and I am now starting to consider what our income will be like. Its not like I haven't thought about this previously, but after looking forward to this moment for the past 6 months, then I am finally accepting that we are going to be up 'poor street' for a while until we adjust.
I loved working full time and earning my money - when I wasn't a mother.
E is now 2 years and 2 months old....and he is learning more stuff everyday. He is bright and cheery and love spending time with him but this is limited due to full time work. I see him of an evening for an hour or so before bedtime and thats if I am not trying to fit the gym in.....or doing a bit of photography work.
If I have a wedding booked on a weekend then this means even less time! It can be very hard at times not being around him. My main day for bonding with him is on a Friday when I have the day off. And I love it. I generally take him out for a walk somewhere.....and we have a blast together. :))
Reducing my hours seemed the best option for me. I get to have all afternoons off and still keep Fridays off......The reduction in money wont be easy, but I am hoping to fill some of the space with extra cash that I can possibly (fingers crossed) make online.
I have signed up with a few (a lot) survey sites which pay cash or voucher equivalent. I have entered every competition going and I am playing free bingo (on signing up) to see if I can win big. Its hours of work at times and trawling through emails can be a bit of a ball ache (not that I actually know what that feels like) but I am hoping that the outcome will pay off. That along with my photography work, writing and selling of items on Ebay.....SHOULD help to keep on part time hours until my kid(s) are old enough.
I loved working full time and earning my money - when I wasn't a mother.
E is now 2 years and 2 months old....and he is learning more stuff everyday. He is bright and cheery and love spending time with him but this is limited due to full time work. I see him of an evening for an hour or so before bedtime and thats if I am not trying to fit the gym in.....or doing a bit of photography work.
If I have a wedding booked on a weekend then this means even less time! It can be very hard at times not being around him. My main day for bonding with him is on a Friday when I have the day off. And I love it. I generally take him out for a walk somewhere.....and we have a blast together. :))
Reducing my hours seemed the best option for me. I get to have all afternoons off and still keep Fridays off......The reduction in money wont be easy, but I am hoping to fill some of the space with extra cash that I can possibly (fingers crossed) make online.
I have signed up with a few (a lot) survey sites which pay cash or voucher equivalent. I have entered every competition going and I am playing free bingo (on signing up) to see if I can win big. Its hours of work at times and trawling through emails can be a bit of a ball ache (not that I actually know what that feels like) but I am hoping that the outcome will pay off. That along with my photography work, writing and selling of items on Ebay.....SHOULD help to keep on part time hours until my kid(s) are old enough.
Smoother Waters....
So....the issue with E's hair fizzled out slowly.
I rang my mom after my last post and basically unloaded onto her. I told her that me and S had been arguing and that he was annoyed over the hair cutting of our son. Surprisingly, she was a lot calmer too. She had been thinking about what she had done and admitted that she had done wrong and apologised profusely about doing it.
I asked her if she had been pressured by my nan. She told me that she hadnt been and I could tell that she was telling me the truth. My mom told me that E's hair was in his eyes and she thought she was doing the right thing. I spoke with her for nearly an hour and we cleared the air. I told her how I felt, she told me how she felt and I felt a lot better. I explained that me and S had been arguing about it and she was understanding when I said that S didnt want to see her right now because of what had happened. I was expecting her to be annoyed about that, but she took it on board and said she didnt mind. I asked her to come round when she was ready and we hugged it out when she got to mine.
The next battle was talking with S.
But I text him everything that we had spoke about and informed him that my mom had told him that she loved him. He warmed throughout the day as I spoke and came to pick me up from my parents home that evening.
The relief I felt was unbelievable......I was happy that things were over.
And amazingly, S talks to my mom more now than he ever did. It feels like this drama has been like a bit of a 'broke the ice' scenario.
E's hair was still terrible, but it resulted in us taking him to the barbers for the first time. He wasn't too happy when the clippers came out, but the end result was too too cute. :))
I rang my mom after my last post and basically unloaded onto her. I told her that me and S had been arguing and that he was annoyed over the hair cutting of our son. Surprisingly, she was a lot calmer too. She had been thinking about what she had done and admitted that she had done wrong and apologised profusely about doing it.
I asked her if she had been pressured by my nan. She told me that she hadnt been and I could tell that she was telling me the truth. My mom told me that E's hair was in his eyes and she thought she was doing the right thing. I spoke with her for nearly an hour and we cleared the air. I told her how I felt, she told me how she felt and I felt a lot better. I explained that me and S had been arguing about it and she was understanding when I said that S didnt want to see her right now because of what had happened. I was expecting her to be annoyed about that, but she took it on board and said she didnt mind. I asked her to come round when she was ready and we hugged it out when she got to mine.
The next battle was talking with S.
But I text him everything that we had spoke about and informed him that my mom had told him that she loved him. He warmed throughout the day as I spoke and came to pick me up from my parents home that evening.
The relief I felt was unbelievable......I was happy that things were over.
And amazingly, S talks to my mom more now than he ever did. It feels like this drama has been like a bit of a 'broke the ice' scenario.
E's hair was still terrible, but it resulted in us taking him to the barbers for the first time. He wasn't too happy when the clippers came out, but the end result was too too cute. :))
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