My sons hair is thick and unruly, but its adorable. At two years old, he definately knows how to work it. He has a thick fringe and long side parts.....it has got a little TOO unruly lately, and very much in need of a trim, but I was waiting until I got chance to take him to the hairdressers.
My nan is a stickler for telling people her opinions and constantly telling you the same opinion over and over and over again. I love her, but she has nothing better to do than bitch about people or slag people off. Even her own kids.....
She told me a couple of weeks ago that my sons hair was too long....I advised her that I liked it long and she replied that lads shouldn't have long hair and that it needed cutting. I ignored her, as I generally do with most of her comments. My mom goes to visit her twice a week....so my mom gets comments like this and ones about my sister and brothers....(and other members of the family) ALL the time. But the thing is...my mom feels pressure from my nan and can sometimes be a bit loose with her tongue, which means that conversations can be shared with other people. But its generally a case of chinese whispers and the information gets changed/twisted, etc.
Anyway, my nan has obviously been on at my mom about my sons hair....so you can probably imagine what it is that my lovely mother did today cant you???
I came back from work and looked through the window at my son and saw that his hair was shorter than what it was this morning when I left for work! My God! I have never got through the front door quicker. My husband was sat on the sofa and he didn't say anything when I walked in, so I thought that maybe he had done it.
I asked what had happened to his hair! I had told S that I wanted to take our son to an hairdressers.....I didn't want us to cut it ourselves....as we had done before, because I wanted to keep the length and just get it trimmed into style....
S hadn't noticed...and he was gutted. On closer inspection, our sons hair was worse....it was shorter in the back, his fringe had been cut and the sides were short too. The length had gone. The sides didnt match and there was a joint piece which was pretty much to his head.....it was soo short that it looked like it was to the skin! I was crying straight away!
My mother had cut his hair....without asking us for permission....without checking first. I had to phone her. I generally kept a lot of the previous issues (small toys, snacks, etc) until the next day when we could talk about them properly, etc......but this time....i had to speak to her about it. I couldnt keep something like this on my chest until the next day.
I phoned her when she was on the bus returning home. I asked her why she had cut his hair and she said that it was because it had been in his eyes. I said that she shouldn't have cut his hair without my permission and she said that I was overreacting and that she was trying to help because we had said that we were going to have it cut at hairdressers and we hadn't done it yet....I was sooo annoyed but I tried to be diplomatic about it without coming across as shouty. It was a complete wrong move! She shouldnt have done it! I loved his long hair....I wanted to keep it in a style....not have it cut short. But whatever was decided about his hair, then it was my decision....not hers! She talked again about how I was making her feel like she couldnt make a decision. I said....'I am his mom, I get to make the decisions....her argument back? ......She is his nan! ......like as if that means more than what I am!
I told her that any decisions like that must be mine and S's and that we didnt want his hair to be cutting...she said that it had been blowing in his eyes and that it appeared to be irritating him. Why couldnt she mention this to me if she thought it were a problem? She said she couldnt ask if she could cut his hair because she didnt have credit in her mobile phone.....
We were like this back and forth for a while, but it got nowhere. I am still annoyed at my mother for cutting his hair when I didnt give her permission to....and she's still thinking that I overreated. And I know why she did it!
She was going to my nans today, so she figured she would put an end to my nan saying stuff about my sons hair....but its up to me what style he has....not hers! Its not fair that she cut his hair without my permission! I dont care what she says!
I have no choice now but to take him to the hairdressers tomorrow to get it put right because it looks awful.....so its going to be a lot shorter than I would have liked.
My husband is fuming about it......but it again puts me in an awkward position....I dont want him to hate my mom, but she makes it so difficult to defend her! If it was S's mom....I would be exactly the same! I would be so angry! So I get where his anger comes from, but it makes me feel horrible! I worry too much about people's feelings. Always have! I know I wont sleep tonight because I will be going over it in my head again and again and again......I wish my mom hadn't cut his hair.....I hate that she took that decision away from me.....Its hard enough not making the decisions that I want to when I am away from him (if that makes any sense at all) - this was a line my mother shouldnt have crossed, but at the end of the day....its my mom.
I can be the person who carries on the feud....who ignores her mom for weeks/months/years......and make it a really big deal!
Or I can let it go.....and make sure my mom knows never to do anything like this again. My hours are reducing at work at the beginning of June.....I only do half days from then....and the time cant come quick enough. I am beginning to feel that I cant trust that my mom wont do something else.....I hate feeling like that....!
Let's hope my mom learns to back off a little!
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