The inevitable time of the month is here, which means that I am not pregnant. Its a bit disappointing. I was hoping for good news, I know it sounds odd, but I want to be able to be happy for my sister (who also is pregnant) but whilst I am without child, I cannot be anything but envious. I want what she has. When she complains to me about her morning sickness and back ache, I want to scream out loud at the injustice.
My sister is 17, she thinks she is old enough to be a parent, but I know she isnt. But that isnt what makes me jealous, its the fact that she is going through this before me. The fact that me as her older sister should be the one who is given her advice about the whole baby saga, but in fact....it is she who is enlightening me. I cannot help but have a bit of the green eyed monster in me. I do try hard not to let it show, but bless my sister, she does understand how I am feeling. She may be young but this change in her body has made her mature overnight. Shopping in Mothercare, she saw my face when she pawed over a pair of teeny-tiny-weeny baby socks. Looking at me and clutching hold of my hand, she leant into me and said,
'I know it is difficult, but inside me is your little niece or nephew and they are going to love you.'
I had to stiffle a sob!
I am feeling sorry for myself. So, going to go and find something equally naughty and nice to eat from the cupboard. A possible choice of chocolate, chocolate of erm, Chocolate!!
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